Some small things

It's been a while!

I really hate starting with that–and I hate having started with that so often in the history of this blog.

I just…haven't felt like I've had much to write about. Part of that was taking on a new job at the beginning of last month, which put me at just about full-time between all of my jobs. What a transition! It hasn't been bad, really. It's been tough, sure, and an adjustment, but I really love it. It's a good job. But between the new job and my other jobs, there have been lots of little good moments (and lots of irritating, frustrating ones, too!) but nothing big enough that I wanted to write a whole post about it.

But good grief it's been a long time since I wrote anything here.

And I think those little moments are worth celebrating and cherishing–and isn't that what I wanted to do here, in this space? find the good and beautiful and God in the routines and small moments of life? So let's take a moment–let's celebrate all the tiny things that being us joy. For me, that's been:

  • Walking to work. It's a tiny way to make space for myself, and I love it.
  • My new friend.
  • Going to the park. I live right by one, and I've finally rediscovered that is a great place to go to read or get some work done.
  • Beautiful sunsets. Enough said, right?
  • Work. Definitely not every day–but there's something beautiful about seeing a task be completed, and being the one working towards that. There's something wonderful about having a clearly defined goal.
  • Crocheting. I've been crocheting more lately and loving it! I find it such a soothing way to spend an hour or two.
  • Writing. Surprising no one but myself, developing a regular writing habit has been giving me so, so much joy. (Perhaps this is a post for another time, but why do we so vehemently avoid the parts of life that give us the most joy?)
  • Rain. We've had so much rain here I've the past month, and I love it. It's my favorite weather, full of such beauty and potential.

What about you? What small things have you been loving?

Some pictures

I haven’t been on here lately–I haven’t felt like I had much to say. Not in a bad way for once! I have had a lot going on, in a very introverted kind of way–that is, lots of sermon research, lots of walks and crafts, and lots of housesitting. 

So I thought I’d share some pictures, and in the meantime get to work on something to post later in the week.

I have gone to the park quite a lot lately

Summer sunsets are beautiful

Craft project: I took apart a set of old natural history books for the gorgeous illustrations


Currently, vol. 3

Wow, it’s been a long time! I haven’t been in a great place over the past few weeks, and the result was that not much writing happened, here or for anywhere else. 

Feeling: Tired. Part of being in a not-great place for me is always not sleeping much, and I’m still recovering. A bit confused and wary, by and of my emotions. Where are they coming from?!? Excited, by everything coming up–graduation, a summer internship, seeing family, writing projects–and by where I am–writing, in school where I’m meant to be, in a warm and sunny and beautiful room. 

Craving: A shower. To write. Sleep.

Watching: Hm. New Girl and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Call the Midwife (I discovered this show recently and absolutely blazed through it, but I’m excited for new episodes airing! I adore it).

Listening: To Pandora; currently, the song is “Chicago (Adult Contemporary Easy Listening Version)” by Sufjan Stevens. 

Reading: Nothing, actually, other than school work. I just finished Lirael and Abhorsen by Garth Nix, and I’m still so in awe of how wonderful they were that I haven’t started anything else. 

Making: A baby blanket, which I’m crocheting in odd minutes between other tasks.

Cooking: Reheating leftovers has been the height of my cooking lately.

Planning: To cook dinner with all the vegetables I bought this morning. A Sunday School lesson for tomorrow. How to actually finish my terrifying to-do list.

Thinking: About my novel. About everything else I’m writing right now. About chores that need to be done. About what I should read next. (Suggestions? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!)

Loving: Food! Doing things even though I’m scared, especially when the world doesn’t end when I don’t do as well as I would have liked to. Doing things that are hard but worth it. Finding joy in all sorts of unexpected places, like in getting up early to do homework. Discovering new things, even when I didn’t really want to, and remembering how good new things can be.
What are you doing currently?

Rag Rug

Rag Rug 1

This is the rag rug I’ve been working on for more than a year now. Overwhelming, isn’t it? What I’ve done so far feels tiny and insignificant, and I feel so far away from the completion that it feels impossible.

I’ve been working on it in little bits: choosing cloth to cut up (old clothes that were far too ragged to give away for re-use), cutting it into painstaking strips, and finally, one by one, threading the strips into the holes. In a fit of excitement at my awesome project, I cut up the black shirts and made the border all in one day. “Oh, this wasn’t so bad!”

Every tutorial I looked at warned me that this was a long process, that the rug is created SLOWLY. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

My strips of cloth, waiting to be threaded into the rug.
My strips of cloth, waiting to be threaded into the rug.

Trying to build a writing career feels overwhelming. Heck, going on with my day feels overwhelming sometimes. Getting the dishes done feels overwhelming, leaving homework and relationships completely out of it! And all I can do is focus on the small things, one thing at a time, one moment at a time. That doesn’t mean I can’t or shouldn’t plan for the future, because I absolutely should. I must. Otherwise my focus is always just in the present, doing whatever presents itself. But I can’t focus on the entirety of what needs to be done. It’s huge and overwhelming, and that makes me freeze up, worry so much that I can’t get anything done. Instead, I have to look at what’s right in front of me, decide what my next task is going to be and focus on that. Just as with my rag rug, I can’t try to put ten strips in ten different holes at once. Instead, I have to go one at a time. Each one feels insignificant, just as each task sometimes feels insignificant. But, if chosen wisely, each task builds on the others, until eventually something beautiful has been created.