Doubt.
This post comes at a time when doubt is beginning to creep in, when the shine is wearing off a new term, a new apartment, a new routine. The everyday is settling in; my optimism is rolling back. Is it possible to get everything done? Is it worth it? What is worth doing, and what is worth not?
Am I even doing the right thing?
The world is such a broken place. How does my one little corner, full of words and books and classes and a few hours in ministry, accomplish anything? How can I do such small things when the need is so big, so huge? I’m an ant before a dinosaur; smaller. The day is so long and yet so short, filled quickly with work and class and cooking and spontaneous conversations, and at the end of the day… what have I actually accomplished?
Yet what else can I do? I have been called here. After a few years of trying to finagle my way out, I’m quite sure that here is exactly where I’m supposed to be. And I am a writer; not because of anything I’ve published, but because words just keep on coming out, crying to be put on paper. Because Writer is a title stamped on my heart, right next to Child of God.
Who am I to argue with where God has placed me? It may not make sense, but I trust. I’ve gone off on my own before, and that’s never EVER gone well. I’m going to keep doing what I can, and give the rest to God; for God is always by my side, helping me out when I can’t manage. Which is pretty much all the time.
Ordinary Adventures 
Beautiful and honest, thank you for your words. It is so true, we are Writers because that is what God has called us to, and that is the title He has made us brave enough to call our own. {Visiting from FMF, spot 38}
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I’ve felt those doubts, too. It’s easy to say “Trust that God has placed you where He wants you to be,” but often harder to actually do it. Wishing you well.
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